A mom tells her story in “How Many Labels Does One Child Need?”
BY JOAN JANZEN
joanjanzen@yahoo.com
It all began when Tara Mardian thought, “Maybe I should write my story,” and that thought resulted in her penning the book entitled “How Many Labels Does One Child Need?”
Tara grew up in the Kindersley area and is a frequent visitor to our surrounding communities where most of her family lives. She now resides in Calgary with her two children, a ten-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter, where she enjoys supervising a group of social workers for the Government of Alberta. Her book is primarily about her role as a mother of her son, who has received multiple diagnoses throughout his young life.
“He was diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder and autism,” Tara said. “For those of you that have not had the experience of feeling completely disconnected from your child, you will never truly understand the internal challenges and the utter ‘loss of self’ a parent goes through suffering in silence,” she further explains in her brief biography on the back cover of her book. “It’s a really tough story. The book is about the hard times - the judgment you feel from the people around you, and how you really personalize it all. You don’t really bring up stuff around people because you feel kind of ashamed,” Tara explained.
Although many will not understand Tara’s journey with her young son, Tara decided to take the brave step forward and write her story for all of those parents who ‘do understand’ what she is writing about.
“One day I was thinking, a lot of moms are struggling with kids with high behaviours, and are feeling stressed and need to talk. I remember how alone I felt during that time, thinking I was the only one going through it,” she said. Then she thought, “Maybe I should write my story, how we got through it, and how beautiful it is.”
Tara wasn’t a professional writer by any means, but she saw a notice for a seminar on how to write a book and attended. There she was told to write three sentences a day for a period of time. “Once you’ve done all of that, you’ve built the bones of your story, and you fill in the layers,” Tara explained. She also had an accountability partner who ensured she kept on writing.
“This was right before COVID, and it was published last month,” Tara said. The book takes the reader along Tara’s journey to discover what was best for her son. “You need to use your professional services. We use medication, but we try to work on his emotional side. Now he has become a completely different kid. Just keep trying to find out what’s best; parents need to hear that. I’ve had tons of people reach out and say that’s exactly how they feel too.”
Tara readily admits her book may not be for everyone, but it’s also not written for everyone. It’s written purposely for parents of children who have received multiple diagnoses and multiple labels. Although Tara’s son has been diagnosed with many things and has had many labels, the label she loves the most is “my son.”
“I ended up falling in love with my son, seeing him from a different perspective, rather than from a label,” Tara concluded. And she’s hoping parents who read her story will realize they’re not alone and will be encouraged to keep on trying, so they too will come to realize “how beautiful” their own story can be.
The quote Tara writes on each signed copy of her book says, “This book has a light of its own; it’s found in the hearts of those who are meant to feel its warmth.”
Former KIndersley resident and author, Tara Mardian.
