Author helps people provide comfort for those who are grieving

By Joan Janzen

Author Joyce Aitken from Saskatoon visited Kindersley on May 15 to speak about grief, a topic that touches everyone’s life. Joyce offered advice to those who find themselves wanting to offer comfort, but having no idea what to say. A group of Kindersley residents gathered at the Legion Hall to listen to what Joyce had to say.

Photo by Joan Janzen

“It went very well. It was information everyone needs to have, and people were saying they wished they had brought someone to hear it,” Joyce reported.

She had brought copies of her book “Sincere Condolences,” which she had written from her own personal experiences after her husband’s death by suicide in 2016.

“Part of my healing process was writing it. I didn’t even know if I’d publish it,” she admitted and proceeded to share her story. She had lost the first edition on her computer, which was ready for the editor, and even two data recovery firms couldn’t retrieve it.

“I was devastated! But I had a lot of people who encouraged me and said I needed to give it another shot. This book is about a quarter of the size of the one that I lost, and I think it’s better as a result,” she confessed.

Joyce listed two pieces of advice she values as an author: “Thinner is the winner when writing nonfiction, and stop writing before you bore people.”

“Sincere Condolences” is the only book Joyce has written. She wanted to write a book for people who don’t know what to do or say when their neighbour’s son dies in an accident. “You hear that all the time … people uncertain about what to say. That’s where my book came from,” she explained. “It’s a small book on purpose, easy to read and directed toward people who want to provide comfort. But it also validates the feelings of people who are grieving.”

After Joyce finished speaking at Kindersley on Wednesday evening she mingled with her guests who often feel more comfortable asking questions while talking one-on-one. After returning home to Saskatoon, Joyce is looking forward to a future speaking engagement in Regina, as well as another at Vancouver Island in the fall.

She said there’s a misunderstanding that grief ends. “We never get over it; we just adapt to the presence of grief in our life. How do you ever get over the loss of a child?” Joyce asked.

This author’s simple and heartfelt message resonates with everyone. Her easy-to-read book, “Sincere Condolences,” is available on Amazon and at book stores.

A captive audience listened to author Joyce Aitken speak at the Legion Hall in Kindersley on May 15. Her message and book “Sincere Condolences” are directed towards people who want to provide comfort but don’t know what to say to friends, family and acquaintances who are grieving.