Canadian NHL teams: Two distinct groups
By Bruce Penton
Observations at the quarter pole of the 2023-24 National Hockey League season about the highs and lows of the seven Canadian teams:
— Two distinct divisions are emerging. The ‘haves’ are the surprising Vancouver Canucks, who were playing at a .660 clip through 25 games; the Winnipeg Jets, a solid third in the Central Division; and Toronto Maple Leafs, playing .636 hockey in a tough Atlantic Division. The ‘have-nots’ are three of the usual suspects — Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary — and one surprise, the Edmonton Oilers, who were one of the pre-season favourites to contend for the Stanley Cup
— Despite languishing between 60th and 70th in the scoring race through the first month, Connor McDavid erupted for 14 points in five games to move into the top 10 and will, in all likelihood, win the Art Ross trophy for most points for the sixth time in eight years.
— Bright spots? Start on the west coast, where defenceman Quinn Hughes is making a case for being the best Hughes in the league, and that’s something considering one of his brothers, Jack, was a 99-point man last year for New Jersey. Vancouver’s Quinn, second in the league in assists, is surrounded by MVP and top-defenceman chatter. His team-mate, Brock Boeser, leads the league in goals after scoring only 18 last season. In Toronto, William Nylander has emerged as the best Leaf, shining brighter than Auston Mathews and Mitch Marner, after putting together a 17-game points streak to start the year. In Calgary, the Flames could boast scoring balance, with 10 players at four goals or better through 24 games. Elias Lindholm, however, was the team leader with only seven. The two Connors were largely responsible for the Jets’ early success. Kyle Connor was lighting it up, with 14 goals after 23 games, and goalie Connor Hellebuyck was back to his dominant self. The talent is thin in Montreal, but Cole Caufield, Nick Suzuki and Alex Newhook were tied for the team lead in goals with seven. Newhook suffered a serious ankle injury, though, and will be out until late January.
— Disappointments? Shoddy goaltending in Edmonton and a scoring slump by McDavid led to the Oilers’ early downfall. Goalie Jack Campbell, in year two of a five-year, $25 million contract, was dispatched to the minors for a couple of weeks. Coach Jay Woodcroft was fired. The Oilers were battling it out with the woeful San Jose Sharks for last place in the Pacific Division. Calgary Flames are still waiting for Jonathan Huberdeau to become the prolific scorer he was in Florida, where he racked up 115 points in 2021-22 before being dealt to the Flames. Huberdeau was on a 51-point pace at the quarter pole and a team-worst minus 11. The potential in Ottawa was yet to pay dividends. Top talent such as Tim Stutzle, Claude Giroux, Brady Tkachuk, Vladimir Tarasenko and Jake Sanderson should have led the Sens to better than a 9-10 record through 19 games.
From the Canadian parody website The Beaverton: “Hockey world in shock after NHL star marries brunette.”
A followup from The Beaverton, quoting analyst Kelly Hrudey: “All championship squads, the Lightning, the Penguins, when the camera pans into their family seats, you get perfect blonde uniformity.”
Super 70s Sports, on X, joking about the old age of an Atlanta Braves’ pitcher: “Phil Niekro enjoyed a solid 1979 season when his 21 wins matched the number of kills he scored during the Civil War.”
Vic Tafur of the Athletic, suggesting Bill Belichick of the Patriots delays his choice of starting QB just because he wants to put it off as long as possible: “It’s like choosing to down a pint of prune juice or watch a Hallmark movie.”
Bob Molinaro of pilotonline.com (Hampton, Va.) “The 2023 college football season, it’s reported, has been the most watched ever across all networks. Which means there’s a lot of leaves that still need raking.”
Super 70s Sports, on X: “Maybe men do like sports too much but I’d rather watch the Patriots play the Panthers five times in a row than watch five minutes of The Bachelor.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Michael Irvin was on ‘The Jimmy Kimmel Show.’ It was part of their ‘Let’s invite six-time sexual assault charged, cocaine-addict guest’ week.”
Headline on The Beaverton: “Ottawa radio station still waiting for first caller to claim free Sens tickets.”
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: “Now that Sports Illustrated has been busted for using A.I.-generated stories, here is my updated to five list of greatest S.I. writers of all time: (5) Frank DeFord, (4) Gary Smith, (3), Dan Jenkins, (2) Rick Reilly, (1) R2-D2.”
Jack Finarelli at his sportscurmudgeon.com website, on the poor play of New England’s quarterbacks: “Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe would have to improve by 100 per cent to qualify as a dumpster fire.”
Headline at fark.com: “Luis Severino to sign a one-year deal on the Mets’ disabled list.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca