Check It Out: Fatherlessness is today's biggest problem

By Joan Janzen

As we approach Father's Day, I will recount a humorous memory. We were visiting friends, when my son noticed an old photo on their fridge. My son said to his friend, "Wow! Your dad looked just like you when he was a kid. Maybe when you get old, you'll look like him."

His friend hung his head and replied, "Yeah. Sad, isn't it?"

In an interview with Joni Lamb, Jimmy Evans, pastor and author, said, "If you don't want your kids to be like you, you don't understand parenting."

While parents model behaviour in front of their kids, a 24-hour video recorder is running. Children are watching their parents' mannerisms, anger, responses, values, and how they treat their spouse and others.

Patrick Bet-David also discussed the importance of fathers in a recent video. Hundreds of comments were posted expressing appreciation for the video, and others shared their own experiences.

One comment read, "I've been a criminal defence attorney for over 30 years and never met a client with a strong father figure."

Patrick said the biggest problem we have today is fatherlessness. He shared stats that show fatherless children have four times greater risk of poverty, are seven times more likely to have a teen pregnancy, are more likely to have behaviour problems, face abuse, go to prison, use drugs and alcohol, and commit crime. But that's not all. Children without fathers account for 71% of high school dropouts, 90% of homeless and runaways, and 63% percent of youth suicide.

Stats also show that one in four kids live in a home without a dad. In response, someone commented, "I didn't grow up with my father, but I was very privileged to grow up with my grandfather. He taught me how to value myself."

Another listener wrote, "My high school football coaches became father figures for us. Most of my teammates were raised by single moms, and they really stepped in to be father figures for us."

Patrick has two young children. Every year, on his daughter's birthday, he takes her on a date. On her eighth birthday, he started talking to her about boys.

"I asked her if she knew why I treat her with love and respect. I told her it's because I want her to know how men should treat her," he explained. "I tell her someday I want her boyfriend to realize how lucky he is to have someone like her."

On the topic of respecting women, a listener's comment read, "My dad had custody of my sister and me, but he didn't let us disrespect our mother. We couldn't even whisper 'shut up' to her!"

Patrick said he doesn't allow his son to give a lazy opinion. "If he says the president sucks, I tell him you can't say that cause you just sound like everyone else. I told him he needed to do research to find out why he had that opinion. Careless expression of opinion can prohibit accurate thinking. We need to challenge kids to base their opinions on facts. That's what makes leaders," he said.

A corresponding comment read, "My father is definitely the reason why I'm successful today and the reason why I don't need validation from others."

Patrick told his audience, "If you're a leader and doing something big, and you're tough, the odds are you had a strong role model, a father figure in your life," Patrick said.

He continued to share about having his kids complete tasks and show appreciation to others. On Memorial Day he had his kids lay a flower on each of the veteran's graves in the cemetery. "I do it because I don't like entitled kids, and I don't like being around entitled people. I want to raise kids that I can be friends with when they're adults."

Jimmy Evans told his viewers that he and his wife were raised in very dysfunctional homes. So when they had children they made the decision to raise their children according to Biblical principles.

He said their friends raised their children based on psychiatrists and psychologists. "Every single one of them had regrets to this day," he said. "Biblical values will be true forever, but if you raise your kids according to popular trends, those will constantly change."

Joni Lamb's daughter Rachel shared about raising her young children. She and her husband let their children know there are consequences for bad choices. The consequences match the behaviour. It may be taking away a toy and placing it on top of the fridge for 24 hours where the child can see it.

"One of the things we do is after time out, we'll ask him what he did wrong and get him to repeat it and apologize," Rachel said. "Lots of times, they're not really sure what they did."

Jimmy noted the importance of knowing who your child's friends are because bad company corrupts good behaviour.

Father's Day is a time to honour dads and offer encouragement as they take on the monumental task of raising children in a challenging world.

A comment in response to Patrick Bet-David's video to dads read, "This is the stuff we should be seeing on the news!" It sounds like good advice.