Check It Out: The family is the future
By Joan Janzen
This funny message posted on social media seemed appropriate for my topic. It said: Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
It reminded me of a summer evening a year or so ago when there was a lengthy power outage. Gradually, people would come out of their homes, kids would head to the park, and adults would go for walks. It was both interesting and revealing.
Phil McGraw, the famous Dr. Phil and television personality, has done a number of interviews about his book entitled “We’ve Got Issues”. One of those interviews was released on TBN.
He talked about his show, which started in 2002, before a text message had ever been sent, when everyday people weren’t even using email. His motivation for the show was to listen to people. “I wanted people to tell me what they wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about things that mattered to people,” he said. “The things that matter have changed over time,” And he explained why.
“The biggest change since the industrial revolution took place in 2008 - 2009 when the smart phone came out. It changed the world. People haven’t paid attention to the unintended consequences. Technology is great; we all benefit from it. But there are consequences that go with it and you have to acknowledge it,” he advised.
Dr. Phil recalled when teenagers couldn’t wait to turn 16 and get their driver’s licence; it meant freedom. He pointed out that now teens aren’t in a hurry to get their licence. They date later, have fewer friends, and are less involved in the real world.
“They’re watching people live their lives instead of getting up and living their own lives. The problem with that is those lives they’re watching are fiction, and they compare themselves to that,” he observed. And it gets more complicated.
Social media platforms and companies feed them toxic data. “I have studies that show you can put a profile of a 13-year-old girl on social media, and within three minutes, they’re feeding her damaging information to her mental health,” he said. And if you add additional information to the profile, such as “lose weight,” the amount of information increases ten-fold.
“They’ve learned people click on things that upset them. They (kids) click more, so they (companies) get more ad revenue, and parents are unaware. I need to educate them about this,” he said, which is why he wrote his most recent book.
He goes on to explain that mental health issues spiked in 2008-2010 when kids stopped participating in the world and started living on devices. “All of a sudden, I had to start dealing with things like cyberbullying,” he said.
Decades ago, kids who were bullied at school could go home and get away from it. Now, they go home and get bullied in a chat room and are susceptible to predators who pose as peers.
“The whole world has changed. Now I’m seeing a whole different set of challenges,” he noted. Children are being babysat electronically by devices. They need to get off the devices and become part of the family again, was Dr. Phil’s advice.
Another change he’s witnessed is that people are three times less likely to stand up and speak their mind than they were in the 1950s, because they’re afraid they’ll get attacked.
A portion was read from his book: “We have weaponized the word phobic. I can’t believe I have to state something that’s so obvious: you are not phobic for asking questions. You may be curious; you may be doubtful.”
It’s been said that I would rather have questions I can’t answer, than answers I can’t question, he pointed out. “When you’re in that situation, something is way out of balance,” he added.
The purpose of his book is to teach people how to stand strong. “I’m not trying to win an argument; I’m trying to solve problems,” he said. “You do that by getting information, having facts and then you can affect change.”
Our country began as an agricultural hub where families worked together, came in from the fields and ate and played together. He slipped in an anonymous quote: “Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one.”
Dr. Phil’s book was written to equip people to build and strengthen families. “I always knew the family was important. The family is the future,” he concluded.