Grief: how to cope with reminders after a loss

After a loved one dies, many things can bring back the pain of their loss. Feelings of grief might return on the anniversary of your loved one’s death or other special occasions. Reminders can be connected to sights, sounds and smells.

Here are some things you can do to cope with these overwhelming feelings.

• Be prepared. Remind yourself that grief reactions are normal and necessary. Although painful, they’ll help you move forward in the grieving process.

• Plan a distraction. Read a book, go for a walk, visit a museum or schedule a visit with friends or loved ones during times when you’re likely to be reminded of your loved one’s death. Keeping busy will help prevent your mind from dwelling on your grief.

• Connect with others. Call or visit people who were special to your loved one. It can be therapeutic to talk with someone who shares in your loss and encourages you to express your feelings openly while offering comfort and support.

• Write down your feelings. Write a letter to your loved one or journal about some of your favourite memories with them. Try to focus on the good things instead of the bad.

• Allow yourself to feel every emotion. It’s OK to experience a range of negative emotions as you grieve. You feel these things because your loved one’s life was important to you.

Finally, don’t feel guilty about moving forward. Rediscovering joy in life doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one. Talk to a therapist or counsellor if you’re struggling with insurmountable grief affecting your everyday life.