Growing Through Grief: How Can I Put the Pain Aside?

By Angela Clement

I got a really good question just today about grief. This person explained that due to the pain of their loss they have no energy and they actually just don’t care about anything. The question was, how do you put the pain aside?

First of all, let me begin by saying that it’s okay to not care. Feel into it. Sit with it and give it your time and attention. There’s no pressure to change your thinking or what you are feeling. Sometimes when we feel like this the best thing is to just allow ourselves to feel all of it and own it. Set some time aside each day to just feel into this. Don’t hold back. Why don’t you care? I bet there is another stronger feeling underneath that one. Feel that one too. Write about this. Draw a picture of this. Learn more about this by getting curious about it. It is absolutely part of the grieving process. These emotions come up for a reason. There are messages in these strong emotions and in order to heal them you need to feel them and also express them.

I bet you are thinking, but deep down I just want to feel better. I know you do and I am here to tell you that I was there too and you will feel better. But first, you have to feel what you feel. There is no way around that. It is a little like a relentless toddler that just won’t stop asking for the same thing over and over. There is a piece of you that just desperately wants to be acknowledged and held at this moment. You want someone to just hear you and understand you and tell you it is going to be okay. Believe me, the pain will continue to surface as long as it is needed and so giving it your time and attention is very important. We can get stuck in a cycle of pushing the emotional pain away and then it keeps coming back. Getting busy and ignoring it will help for a while but it will find a way to get your attention again when you least expect it - likely at some inopportune moment. You have to walk through the emotions you feel. Sometimes you need a friend, a coach, a therapist or a support person who understands to walk through the process with you. Eventually you will learn how you can do that for yourself. Expressing the emotion helps. There are many ways to do that. Energy healing helped me immensely. Seek out what works for you.

The thing is, everyone has their own journey so I can’t tell you exactly how your journey will look or how long it will take or even where it will lead. I can tell you this. When you understand the process of grief, how to express your emotion and how this works for you and not against you, you can start to embrace these emotions and process them in a way that will provide insights into your unique way to move forward. We don’t put the pain aside. We transmute the pain through the process of grief. We take the pain and we energetically transform it into an act of love. That love permeates through us and radiates out into the world around us. When this happens, it is a beautiful thing. This is what will bring the joy back. This is how you will feel whole again.

When you lose someone you love, the pain can be so difficult to bear. I have been there. You might think that you are destined to feel this way forever. I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way. I can help you transmute the pain and help you find joy again. I had someone help guide me. Now I guide others to do the same. Gift yourself with the tools that can help you along the way. In the meantime, check out my website. Sign up for my newsletter to get regular updates on what I offer. I am sending so much love, Angela www.healingenergy.world