Growing Through Grief: Meaning and Inspiration
By Angela Clement
The loss of a very dear and close loved one can leave us feeling lost and like life has no meaning. After all, you have wrapped your life around them and when they are gone it can seem like everywhere you turn to look is a reminder of your loss. We often try to hold onto their memories in a way to navigate the pain. What if we could use those memories to help us find meaning for our lives moving forward?
In the initial throws of grief we are in resistance and pain and understandably so. As time goes on we can choose to gently start to surrender to the pain of loss, acknowledge it is there and at the same time begin to think about what we can do to honour our loved one going forward. Think about what your loved one stood for. What did they believe in? What did they value? Are these things that you would like to start to focus on and incorporate into your own life moving forward? How might you make this happen? These thoughts can start to make meaning for you in your loss.
Grief teaches us some very valuable lessons. We start to understand the value of life and living life to the fullest. Suddenly none of the petty stuff or drama matters anymore. We get clarity around what really does matter and we start to focus on that. What matters is that our loved one lived and they influenced us in a way that no one else has. There is a unique imprint that they have put on our soul. We can use that to help honor them as we navigate life going forward.
Blaine was never about waiting around to do the things you want to do in life. He knew what he wanted. If I saw him eyeing up a new truck or a new piece of machinery I knew it was all but bought. He loved people and he loved visiting with people. He was genuinely interested in others and their lives and he wasn’t afraid to strike up a conversation with any stranger to find out more about them. He loved to travel, try new things, explore new ideas and eat good food. He loved following his kids around the country to watch them participate in their hockey games or anything else they were doing. He attended the Christmas Concerts, recitals and track and field days. He loved being involved in his community and attending community events. He also loved to be the host of gatherings of family and friends at our home. Wing nights, brandings and any special holidays became the highlights of his life.
Knowing this about Blaine I can look at my life and think about what he would love to see me carry out in mine. So I now can pick up on the things that he loved and integrate those things into my own life moving forward in his honour. I can embrace life, meet new people, follow my kids and host events that welcome others. These things bring me joy now. I am learning new things as I stretch my wings. It brings me great joy to help others and I know that Blaine sees that I am finding my way in this new life. I feel closer to him than ever knowing that he is with me every step of the way.
Where can you find meaning and inspiration in your own life and at the same time honour your loved one? Taking small steps to move forward is healing and your example will inspire others as well. Make them proud by honouring their lives and creating a meaningful life for yourself in the process.