Growing Through Grief: Stepping Into the Unknown
By Angela Clement
This past weekend I drove back to Val Marie to attend a baby shower and see some dear friends and family. As I drove, a lot of memories came flooding back. My mind went back to many memories of Blaine and I traveling back and forth down that number 4 highway. Blaine and I loved spending time together and we had the greatest conversations in the vehicle as he drove. I can remember this like yesterday. Each time I head back to Val Marie the memories flood back but this time it felt different. This time instead of the deep sadness I felt more gratitude and deep appreciation for all that we lived in our 35 years together. It was foggy and so the trip was almost like it was something out of a movie. A lot went through my mind as I reflected on my emotions, the grief and how I have stepped into and continue to move into what I can only describe as unknown territory.
When we drive in fog we can barely see the road ahead and yet we trust that as we drive the road will present itself. Driving through fog is like moving through grief in that even though we cannot see much of what lies ahead of us, we just have to keep moving because deep down we know that the future will continue to unfold. When we lose a loved one it’s up to us to shine our own light in the fog now. We are stepping into the unknown and surrendering to the fact that life goes on. There is obviously more life to be lived or we wouldn’t still be here. There are creations that are waiting to be birthed through us in some way. I believe everyone has their own profound contribution they came to make to this world. What is behind us is no longer a viable option and so looking forward and embracing the present moment and dreaming about the future is what helps us move forward. There is a delicate balance between relishing the past and the beautiful memories and feeling into the excitement and joy the future can bring.
Sometimes when we are driving the fog gets so thick we can barely see but we get glimpses of things that are familiar to us to help us find our way. Maybe there is a familiar tree, a curve in the road or a yard light that helps us get our bearings. In grief it might be having coffee with a trusted friend, going for a walk, cuddling a pet, listening to our favorite music, or pouring a nice warm cup of tea that helps lighten up the way. Sometimes we just need help to get that glimpse of where we are on the journey. We might call in a little help from someone up the road on the grief journey that can reach out to us and help us find our way. We can seek out a mentor, a therapist, a healer or a coach who can keep us informed and grounded as we move through the challenges ahead. Finding that person that resonates with us and is there for us can ease our mind and allow us to start to become more curious about our journey. They can help us to let go of those beliefs that are clouding our perceptions and blocking our way. They can help lift the fog so now we can more clearly see the road ahead of us.
You don’t need to rush through the fog. You just need to keep a slow and steady pace as you move down the road. Each of us has a path in life. Each of us came to this earth with a mission to complete. I believe there is a reason and a season for each of our challenges. There is also a time and a place where you will realize you have come so very far in your journey. Keep moving forward at your own pace, trusting as you go that the road will unfold in front of you exactly as it should. You cannot do it wrong if you do it your way.