REMEMBERING WHEN: Teaching our cat a little lesson

By Keith Schell

Why do we love our cats so much? That question can be a real head-scratcher at times. Demanding, fickle, aloof, and self-important, they always want what they want, when they want it, and to heck with everybody else.

When they want to eat, they let us know. When they want outside, they let us know. And when they want back inside, they certainly let us know. And when they want affection, they always come to us. If we go to them for affection, they usually can’t be bothered. They want everything on their own terms. And despite their annoying ‘cat’ nature at times, we still love the little feline fur-balls dearly.

There is a saying that goes something like, ‘Dogs have masters, and cats have staff’. And that’s very true. Dogs love us and want to please us, but cats always expect to be pleased by us. And like a dutiful servant, we usually respond to their every whim and give them everything they want and need.

But sometimes, they can go just a little bit too far. And that’s just what happened with our own cat one day.

It was a sunny, crisp, beautiful winter day in the early 1980’s. Our cat was sitting on a chair and looking through the dining room picture window at the lovely winter day and decided she wanted to go outside. She went down to the door and turned and looked at me: “Meow, meow, meow”. I knew she wanted outside. No problem. I went down to the door and opened it for her.

But when the winter cold hit her in the face as she was standing in the doorway, she hesitated, staring outside at the brisk winter day as she tried to decide whether or not she was going outside. Hey, like getting something out of the fridge, you’re supposed to know what you want before you open the door, right? We’re not trying to heat the whole neighbourhood! She just stood there while I held the door open, trying to make up her mind about going outside, and letting all of the heat out of the house as she was doing so. Any cat owner in this situation knows exactly what I am talking about.

She finally scrunched up her nose at the winter cold, turned tail, and came back in the house. Fine. I figured that was that. But ten minutes later, she changed her mind: “Meow, meow, meow”. She had decided she wanted outside. Fine. I opened the door and wonder of wonders, she actually went outside! Again, I figured that was that. But after ten minutes of being outside, she decided she had enough (“Meow, meow, meow”) and wanted back in the house. Fine, it was a little cold outside, and I just figured she got a little taste of winter that day and decided it wasn’t for her. So I let her back in and thought that was that. But ten minutes later, the same thing happened (“Meow, meow, meow”). She wanted back out again! Fine. I let her back out. And ten minutes later (“Meow, meow, meow”), she wanted back in again! Fine. So I let her in again. And ten minutes later (“Meow, meow, meow”), she wanted back out again! So I let her back out again. This was getting annoying. Cat, make up your darn mind!

Getting tired of being the cat’s personal doorman that day, I decided it was time to teach our cat a little lesson.

This time, when she wanted back in the house (“Meow, meow, meow”), me being the only person in the house at the time, I ignored her. After a minute or two she began to realize that no one was coming to open the door for her! Flabbergasted that her demands were being ignored, she began to meow even louder. I kept ignoring her.

I left her outside for half an hour. She kept meowing and meowing in desperation, like her life depended on getting back into the house and out of the cold, which was absolutely ridiculous. Going by her meowing, you would think I was the biggest meanie in the whole wide world for subjecting our cat to the horrors of being left outside for half an hour on a beautiful sunny winter day! Never mind that many other days that winter she was happily outside for much longer than that by choice before wanting back in the house. When I finally let her back in the house again, she was none too happy with me about being left outside on that gorgeous winter day for a whole half an hour! But my little lesson had the desired effect; she didn’t want out again for the rest of the day. And peace and quiet finally reigned inside the house.  

Did our cat learn a lesson that day? As much as I would like to think so, I seriously doubt it. Cats will always be cats, demanding and impulsive, wanting what they want, when they want it, and expecting the world to bow before their feet and see to their every need.   

But we still love our cats dearly, and always will, despite the occasional aggravation they may cause us with their demanding feline attitudes.