REMEMBERING WHEN: The different kinds of love
By Keith Schell
For many single and unattached individuals, Valentine’s Day can feel like the most disheartening day of the year. Dominated by overly sweet Hallmark rom-coms and chick-flick movies where two stunningly beautiful people fall hopelessly in love, it serves as an annual reminder to all the single people of the world that nobody loves you on that particular day and perhaps never will, at least not in the romantic way depicted in those movies.
As a single person myself, last Valentine’s Day I found myself sitting alone at home, quietly lamenting my single status and feeling a bit sorry for myself. While I am far from being the only single person in the world, it certainly felt that way on that special designated day for lovers.
In a moment of self-pity, I posted a Valentine’s Day singles joke on my Facebook page. Admittedly, there was a hint of lonely bitterness in my post. But one of my female Facebook friends saw it and responded with a rather unsympathetic comment: “Boohoo. You can still live and be loved.”
Her reply was like a splash of cold water in my face. Perhaps I was being too negative about the whole situation. Her response made me stop and rethink my perspective. After all, if life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right?
Valentine’s Day is traditionally for lovers, but it doesn’t have to be limited to that. Perhaps the theme of ‘love’ can be broadened to include all the different kinds of love that exist in the world. There are many forms of love beyond romantic love, and it got me thinking about the kinds of love that I and other single people in the world might actually have in our lives. Here are some questions to consider:
Are you loved by your parents? If you come from a good home, your parents love and support you, and would do anything to help you and want the best for you. If you are grown and your parents still maintain contact with you, count your blessings.
Are you loved by your siblings? Have old animosities been patched up? Can you reasonably talk to your brothers and sisters, attend family functions, and communicate with them on an adult level? Count your blessings if this is the case.
Are you loved by your adult children? If they still want you to be included in their busy lives and come to see you every chance they get, count your blessings.
Are you loved by your young children? As a single parent, you are the light of their life and their role model. They look to you for love, guidance, security, and support. Tuck them in, kiss them goodnight, and count your blessings.
Are you loved by your pets? Nothing is more heartfelt and pure than the enthusiastic and unconditional greeting of love you receive from a beloved pet when you get home after a hard day. If they are always happy to see you, count your blessings.
Are you loved by your neighbours? In the good ‘love thy neighbour’ kind of way, do you do little things for them and are considerate of others? A good neighbour is hard to find. If you have one, you are truly blessed. Reciprocate that good neighbour love and be good back to them whenever you can.
Do you love life and appreciate it to the fullest? While it can be difficult in this Covid-19 era, you can still love and appreciate the little things around you: take time to smell the flowers, enjoy the soothing sound of rain on the roof, relish the joyous smile of a small child, or sit on the porch in the evening and appreciate a beautiful summer sunset.
While Valentine’s Day will always be about loving couples in romantic relationships, perhaps for the sake of everyone’s emotional well-being, the scope of love on this day could be broadened beyond traditional gestures like cards, flowers, and candy to include all the different kinds of love one can experience in life; love of true friends, love of family, and love of life.
Take heart, single people. They say there is someone for everyone, and your next someone could be just around the corner. You never know.
A very happy Valentine’s Day to all the single people of the world. Somewhere, somehow, and in some way, you are loved, even though it may not be in the romantic way you might want on this particular day.