Shelley Christian: Helping women thrive in a perfection culture

By Joan Janzen

Women are designed to flourish in every season of life. That’s the message Shelley Christian will bring to those attending the upcoming Women’s ‘Worth’Shop in Kindersley, coming up on the last Friday in May. Women and girls of all ages are welcome to attend this free event, which is a Better Together Initiative.

“Women and girls put unreal expectations on themselves, and that’s where self hatred begins,” she observed. “I want women to realize their incredible worth and I’ve found they usually respond to this type of presentation better than other preventative measures. That’s why I started it.”

Shelley is a women’s conference speaker, author, musician, minister and Suicide Prevention Trainer from Saskatoon. “Don’t believe the myth that you are too old or too young, or too “whatever”, she said.

She began holding ‘Worth’Shops focussing primarily on prevention. She doesn’t want women to even contemplate those thoughts, simply because they believe in their worth.

Shelley said she listened to a 14-year-old being asked why she had attempted suicide numerous times. The teen said she did it because she didn’t feel that she was worthy of being loved. “That shocked me to the core. When we believe we aren’t of value to anyone, that’s when the downward spiral takes a huge dive,” she said.

She exposes the myth that women must be the perfect mother, perfect career person, the perfect wife. The lie perpetuated is ... if she can’t juggle all those things, somehow you’re failing. “And there’s the myth that our outward appearance somehow makes us worthy of being loved more than who we are inside,” she explained. The perfection culture surrounding us serves to reinforce that lie.

Consequently, women are always trying ways to look younger, and teens are constantly comparing themselves with others. “You’d think it would just be the younger demographic, but this goes throughout the entire age span of women, from teens to those in their 70’s and 80’s; they still compare themselves,” Shelley said. Thinking we failed because we’re not like someone who has a toned body or looks a certain way is stressful and causes mental health to go out the window, she explained.

Shelley helps women realize they don’t need to compare themselves with anyone. “When we do, we’re saying ‘I don’t measure up’. I want women to see that. We are unique beings, designed perfectly for who we are to be. Every human being is priceless,” she said. Without that personal sense of worth, women will not be able to accept themselves as who they were created to be. Without the ability to love themselves, they won’t be able to love others effectively.

“I try to bring in the amazing synergy between spirit, soul and body. Every aspect of our life flows and affects the other,” Shelley explained.

Shelley emphasizes the importance of education, affirmation and interaction. “Why aren’t we cheering each other on?” Shelley asks.

We need to not only realize our own worth, but encourage others and remind them of their value. “I hope once we understand our value, we continue to encourage the value in other girls and women. That alone could prevent them from going down the route of self harm and mental illness,” said.

That’s the goal of the Women’s ‘Worth’Shop which will be held at the Senior Centre in Kindersley at the end of May. Come and be encouraged so you can encourage someone else.