SPORTS TALK: New NFL kickoff rules are just … (dumb)

By Greg Buchanan

So, what do you think of the NFL’s new kickoff rules? Same here. (Dumb)

It’s difficult to believe that a group of reasonably intelligent men got together and thought this convoluted thing was a good idea.

Let’s put it this way: The new rules were inspired by similar rules used in the XFL — which is now defunct. In other words, the NFL is taking lessons from the losers. The XFL, by the way, merged with the USFL to form the UFL, and that league uses — yep, you guessed it — the traditional football rules for kickoffs.

So, here’s what we have to endure for the next few months before they punt this cockamamie thing and start over again. At least 19 players, by rule, are not allowed to move during a kickoff until the ball lands in the “landing zone” or in the kick returner’s hands. They stand frozen in place, in two long lines, looking up at the ball.

Picture a giant foosball table.  The net result for fans is the same: score, followed by a TV commercial, followed by a boring, go-through-the-motions kickoff, followed by another TV commercial, and … rinse and repeat.

It’s about as exciting as the Parliament channel.

The new kickoff rules are so convoluted that it takes several paragraphs just to explain them. Story after story was written on this subject during the offseason. You’d have thought they were explaining quantum mechanics.

Rule No. 1 for rules: Keep it simple.

The NFL has been around for 105 years, and the league is still trying to figure out what to do with kickoffs. The NFL has tweaked kickoff rules, changing and changing rules for touchbacks, kickoffs out of bounds, the kickoff spot, the formation, kicking tees, etc again.

There are two fundamental problems with kickoffs: They are routine and boring, and they are dangerous.

The kickoff features unnaturally large, strong, fast men running full speed at each other as soon as the ball is kicked. What could go wrong?

It is also remarkably uneventful. The kickoff is a high-risk, low-reward play — a high risk of injury, with very little payoff for the fans or the return team. Whether it is fielded by the return man or downed, it pretty much always ends up with the ball placed at or near the 20-yard line (the average return was 23 yards last season).

NFL took a step backward with the rule that allows players to push ball carriers forward.

The chances of a return for a touchdown are about the same as hitting the jackpot in Las Vegas.

The NFL announced the rules changes this way: “To address the lowest kickoff return rate in NFL history during the 2023 season and an unacceptable injury rate on kickoffs prior to that, NFL clubs have approved a new kickoff rule for the 2024 season.”

How has it worked out? The results are in. I found these stats; 63.5% of the kickoffs resulted in touchbacks — not much different than last year’s record-setting touchback rate of 73%. Only three were returned for more than 40 yards, one for a touchdown.

Here’s an idea: Just end it. If the kickoff is so dangerous and unworkable, just kill it. Start each possession by placing the ball on the 20-yard line and let the offence take it from there. Otherwise, leave it alone.  But what do I know? I’m a CFL guy, and I still have not figured out why up here we’re still over the Rouge.