Weird News: Chilean Sea Bass

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Is today April 1? The Campbell’s Co. announced on Oct. 23 that for a limited time, it is changing the name of its popular Pepperidge Farm cheese snacks from Goldfish to ... Chilean Sea Bass. CNN reported that the switch is part of a strategy to attract adult fans, and the crackers themselves will not change. “We know Goldfish are ... loved by snackers of all ages. ... We went ahead and gave our iconic cheddar cracker a new, fun, grown-up name,” said Danielle Brown, vice presi-dent of Goldfish. (Best job title ever.)

What’s in a Name?

Hades Funeral Services in Stalowa Wola, Poland, had to apologize after a mishap with a corpse on Oct. 19, the Associated Press reported. “As a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse,” the company announced, “during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred” -- that is, the corpse came flying out the back of the car and landed in a crosswalk. The accident “does not reflect the high standards of our company ... and the respect we always show to the deceased,” Hades claimed.

The Way the World Works

Stop that hugging! Travelers leaving the New Zealand city of Dunedin better say their goodbyes at home, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. The airport’s drop-off area will now restrict parting hugs to three minutes in an effort to prevent traffic jams. Airport CEO Dan De Bono said officials hope to “keep things moving smoothly.” Not all travelers were accepting of the time limit, saying the rule “breached basic human rights.” But, De Bono assured them, “We do not have hug police.”

Suspicions Confirmed

Nope, that wasn’t Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on your pizza. Police in Dusseldorf, Germany, un-covered a drug ring after busting a pizzeria manager who was selling a popular “No. 40” pie, which was delivered with a side of cocaine, the Associated Press reported on Oct. 22. As officers buzzed the apartment of the manager, he threw a bag of cocaine, cannabis and money out the window, which landed in the officers’ hands. After the manager was released, he went right back to delivering No. 40, and that’s when investigators uncovered the supply chain, arresting three suspects and raiding the homes of 12 others. Pizza man is back in custody.

It’s a Mystery

Scientists in Canada are trying to figure out what the white blobs are that are washing up on Newfoundland beaches. The masses range in size from a coin to a dinner plate, United Press International reported, and started appearing in September. Officials said the mystery substance is under investigation, and opinions are split about whether it could be coming from a whale. “An answer would be nice,” groused resident Dave McGrath.

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