Weird News: Least Competent Criminals
The Aristocrats
Auction house Reeman Dansie in Colchester, England, announced that a slice of wedding cake from the marriage of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip has been purchased for $2,831, United Press International reported. The little slice of history, part of a 500-pound cake served at the Nov. 20, 1947, wedding, had been given as a gift to Marion Polson, a housekeeper at Holyrood House in Edinburgh, Scotland. It was preserved in a box bearing the then-princess’s insignia and included a letter from the bride. No word on how it tasted.
Oops
Mattel is scrambling after releasing its new line of “Wicked” dolls in packaging that included a link not to the upcoming movie’s official page, but to a porn website, United Press International reported. “We deeply regret this unfortunate error,” the company said in a statement. It was unclear how many dolls carried the misprint, but the company said they were mostly sold in the United States. Mattel helpfully advises people who have purchased products with the misprint to dispose of the boxes.
Say What?
Semi-professional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip of Abergavenny, Wales, has weighed in on the recent American election, the Abergavenny Chronicle reported on Nov. 11. “Trump isn’t the real enemy, leprechauns are!” he told the paper. “They have been using world leaders and royalty as puppets and distractions from their own diabolical schemes for generations. I don’t think either Donald Trump or Kamala Harris were ever aware that they were being used by these corrupt, gold-hungry, shamrock-obsessed, stove-pipe-wearing, alcoholic little pygmies.” Turnip went on: “Most people don’t think leprechauns are real, and neither did I until a wise man told me that I’d have a hard time finding a mermaid in this day and age because the leprechauns had systematically slaughtered most for them for their scales centuries ago.” Unsurprisingly, Turnip had MUCH more to say than we can include here. Consider yourself warned.
Least Competent Criminals
Four Californians were arrested for insurance fraud on Nov. 13 for an incident that took place in January, NBC News reported. Ruben Tamrazian, 26; Ararat Chirkinian, 39; Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32; and Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, filed insurance claims on three Mercedes cars, complete with video, which they said had been damaged by a bear. The Jan. 8 alleged attack took place while the cars were parked at Lake Arrowhead northeast of Los Angeles. “The investigation determined the bear was actually a person in a bear costume,” the insurance department said. The bear costume, paws and metal hand tools that simulate claws were found in the suspects’ home, officials said. Investigators said they had shown the video to a biologist from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, who “opined it was clearly a human in a bear suit.”