A Few Christmas Jokes

1. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.

2. How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas? It’ll take ages to flatten the curve.

3. Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!

4. How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year’s staff Christmas party? Put him on mute.

5. Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.

6. What type of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas!

7. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!

8. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

9. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho!

10. What’s the best thing to give your parents for Christmas? A list of everything you want!

11. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night!

12. What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast!

13. How did Mrs. Claus tell Santa the weather? “It looks like rain, dear!”

14. What do you call a mean reindeer? Rude-olph!

15. Where does mistletoe go to get famous? Hollywood!

16. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!

17. What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow!

18. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish!