A Few Fun Jokes: Sensitive Heart
Two guys were playing golf, one of them was about to swing the golf club when he noticed a funeral procession going by on the street. The man stopped in mid-swing and closed his eyes and said a short prayer. The other man truly inspired, remarked, clearing his throat, “wow that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.”
“Well”, the other man said “I was married to her for 35 years.”
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A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining of a terrible phobia. “Every time I lay down on my bed I get this terrible fear that there is something underneath.
“Wow” responded the psychiatrist “I’ve never heard of such a phobia, but like all phobias it can be treated, but it will likely take around 20 sessions.”
“OK” responded the lady “how much is each session?”
“Oh it’s just $80 a session, but trust me it’s well worth it.” When the lady didn’t come back to the psychiatrist he gave the lady a call.
“How come I didn’t hear from you? He asked.”
“Well” responded the lady “when I came home and told my husband about the cost he thought he would save some money, he just cut the legs off the bed!”
A religious women upon waking up each morning would open her front door stand on the porch and scream, “Praise the Lord.”
This infuriated her atheist neighbour who would always make sure to counter back, “there is no Lord.”
One morning the atheist neighbour overheard his neighbour praying for food, thinking it would be funny, he went and bought her all sorts of groceries and left them on her porch.
The next morning the lady screamed, “praise the Lord, who gave me this food.”
The neighbour laughing so hard he could barely get the words out screamed “it wasn’t the Lord, it was me.”
The lady without missing a beat screamed “praise the Lord for not only giving me food but making the atheist pay for it!!“
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A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn’t have to do anything himself.
On the way home the husband asked with a note of concern “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it.”