A Few Good Jokes: Houdini Trap Door

I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood.
I guess they didn’t want me to use crayon.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.
Fair enough! You should use an ashtray.

I made a graph showing my past relationships.
It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she’d show me a good time.
When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.

My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder.
“That’s my step ladder,” he said. “I never met my real ladder.”

If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.
If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

For a while, the magician Houdini used a trap door for every show he did.
It was just a stage he was going through.

This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture.
I told her that I am looking for matches.

I can’t stand people that overlay pictures on other pictures.
They’re super imposing.

The National Origami championship is on television tonight.
It’s on paper view.

Studies show that more Americans watch television than any other household appliance.