A Few Good Zingers: Toilet Pepper

A man goes to a hotel and asks the manager, “How much for a room?”
The manager says, “It’s a $100 regular and $15 if you make your own bed.”
Excitedly the man says, “OK, I’ll make my own bed then.”
“OK, I’ll go get you some nails and wood.”

My wife told me I’ve grown as a person.
Her actual words were, “You’ve gotten fat,” but I know what she meant.

A Frenchman is staying at a hotel in New York. He phones reception and asks for some pepper.
“Of course, would you like black pepper or white pepper?” the receptionist asks.
“No, I need toilet pepper,” the Frenchman replies.

I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine.
“Yes! Oh, yes!” she shouted, eyes filled with tears.
“Great!” I said. “Now take this pick and go find me some gold!”

A man was driving past a country estate when he saw a sign on the gatepost, “Please ring the bell for the gatekeeper.”
So he rang the bell, and an ancient man appeared. “Are you the gatekeeper?”, asked the first man.
“Yes, I am,” answered the gatekeeper. “May I help you?”
“Not really,” answered the man, “I was just wondering why you can’t ring the bell yourself.”