A Million Times We Cry: Stacey Grimes-Wempe writes memoir on grief, and launches it at oil show
By Brian Zinchuk
LLOYDMINSTER, WEYBURN – An oil show isn’t a typical place for a book launch, but for Stacey Grimes-Wempe, it was fitting. After all, her book was sitting close to the model pumpjack sitting on the counter of her display.
After all, Stacey and her husband Keith are the majority owners of Grimes Sales & Service (2020) (Ltd), a company her late father, Mel, built into an artificial lift powerhouse. The HG pumping unit, with its characteristic curved walking beam, literally changed the landscape of southern Saskatchewan.
Mel Grimes and his partner Paul Cheung sold their interests in Grimes Sales and Service, as well as the Chinese factory that built those pumpjacks, to Schlumberger in the spring of 2014. That was after the death of Stacey’s mother, Margaret, in 2009. A few years later, Mel, too, passed away, in late 2016. And it is those deaths, along with Stacey’s brother, Clinton, in 1997, that formed the foundation of her book – A Million Times We Cry: A memoir of Loss, Grief, Depression, and Ultimately Hope.
Stacey Grimes-Wempe, left, Dr. Keith Wempe and Trina Whelan at the Lloydminster Heavy Oil Show on Sept. 10.
It also discusses post-partum depression.
On its release day, the A Million Times We Cry was No. 1 in Amazon’s bestselling books in Amazon’s “Grief & Loss” category. It can be found on Amazon. The book was self-published via Forefront Books, released on Sept. 10, at the Lloydminster Heavy Oil Show. In August, Stacey went to California to spend a few days recording the audiobook version of A Million Times We Cry. It will be available Oct. 1 via Amazon’s audiobook service, Audible.
This is the synopsis of the book, as listed on Amazon:
The day after she and her husband moved into their first home, Stacey Wempe’s simple, ideal life in Saskatchewan was shattered. At daybreak, her aunt and uncle arrived at her new home to tell her that her twenty-two-year-old brother, Clinton, had been killed in a tragic accident a few hours earlier. Driving in thick fog to rescue his stranded girlfriend, he drove his truck into the side of a freight train traveling on a rarely used track. This random, tragic event propelled Stacey into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety that lasted years. Prolonged grief extended to postpartum depression after the birth of her son and daughter. Her despair led to marital stress, intensified by her mother and father losing their battles with cancer. In the face of overwhelming sorrow, she struggled to move on but knew she had no alternative. A Million Times We Cry is Stacey’s uplifting story of her fight to regain control of her life, find hope and joy, and move past her anguish. Seeking therapeutic intervention and subsequently displaying bravery and persistence, she embarked on a journey to become a Fearless Living life coach. Ultimately, Stacey confronted the very things she had evaded—her fears, anguish, and insecurities—and embraced herself and her existence. Drawing upon her life’s lessons and life-coach training, Stacey reveals her raw and poignant emotional healing journey that led to a life filled with hope and happiness. Her concluding insights into how others can start their journey to discover healing, hope, and joy are profoundly inspiring.
Four years
In Lloydminster on Sept. 10, Stacey told Pipeline Online, “It took me four years to do it. And it was my grief process after losing my brother and my mom and my dad. And it really is also to leave a legacy. It’s a memoir also. And it also has life coaching questions at the end of the book to kind of help with the grief.
“And so, a lot of people that have been like emailing me about the book, and they said it’s been it’s like having a passenger, it’s like being a passenger in your story.” She said, “We all go through grief, and its kind of a taboo subject, really taboo.”
“It really chronicles my grief throughout the 27 years. I think you always will have grief, but it kind of lessens.”
Even the fact that she was exhibiting at two oil shows this year has been part of that healing journey. Mel was a constant fixture at oil shows, even hauling a large pumpjack to set up at the Williston Basin Petroleum Conference in 2012. Schlumberger was on a buying binge around 10 years ago, purchasing several Western Canadian artificial lift companies in short order, including Grimes Sales & Service. But eventually it lost interest, and sold Grimes Sales and Service back to Stacey at a much reduced price.
Back in the game
But since buying back the company, the marketing push hasn’t been the same. Day-to-day management is in the capable hands of Kent Lees, general manager and part-owner. But that doesn’t leave him with a lot of time to spend at oil shows. So, with a little bit of encouragement, Stacey decided to start exhibiting, herself.
Her partners in the booth were husband Keith and friend Trina Whelan. Most of Keith and Stacey’s time is spent with their dental business, Scotsburn Dental Centre, in Estevan, where Keith, a dentist, is the lead partner and Stacey, a dental assistant by trade, runs the office. But as the book reveals, the two were high school sweethearts. And so, when Keith was going to dental school, he worked for Mel during the summers, doing everything from painting pumpjacks to setting them up.
“While he was in dental school, (Mel) had him paint pumpjacks,” she said. They were engaged at the time. Thus, Keith knows a thing or two about them when talking to oil show attendees.
And Trina has owned and operated floral shops for decades, so she, too, knows a thing or two about marketing. “Trina’s been amazing, heling me with my Facebook and everything like that, too. She’s been so awesome, helping me.”
Together, they explained to customers the key selling point of the HG jack – its notable energy efficiency over conventional, straight walking beam jacks.
“I think it’s really beneficial to get the word out that we’re family-owned, again,” she said.
“It has helped me, because of all the hard work that my dad and my mom and my brother put in, and we’re carrying on that legacy.” This will be an ongoing thing, she said, taking part in oil shows.
“A lot of people said they didn’t realize that the company was bought back. And so they’re saying, ‘Thank you for carrying on the legacy, and thank you for bringing it back’ and everything like that, and getting out there. We’re getting out there, too.”
Roots run deep
Running businesses has long been apart of the Grimes family. Her mother’s father had Meyer Machining. Her grandfather on her father’s side was mayor of Lampman for 18 years and had a multi-line dealership. Her father took over the dealership in 1973, and got into the oil business in 1985, first as an oil producer, then in the pumpjack business.
His partner, Paul Cheung, was honoured this past June as a Southeast Saskatchewan Legend inductee. Pipeline Online published an extensive article, found here, on Cheung and his partnership with Mel Grimes. The two were strongly linked, and their stories merged.
Indeed, while attending the Weyburn Show, Cheung stopped by Stacey’s booth and said hello. Hugs and perhaps a tear or two were shed. There was a huge smile on his face.
At the Weyburn show, she said it was good to get out there, with the customers “It’s really been amazing. And the connection with people, old customers, new customers, and just hearing our story is really good.” She was essentially stepping into her father’s shoes. Asked if she felt like he was there, with her, she said, “Yeah, for sure, he is.”
Asked what it’s like being a woman owning an oilfield company, Stacey said, “You know what? I feel everyone has really embraced me. So, I really feel it’s part of my connection with people, and part of the history. “When I was little, I used to go into the shop with all the customers and meet with them. So it was kind of going back in time. I hear lost of stories about Dad, and about the farming days and the oil days. It was really humbling, and it was really nice, because I can feel they’re here.”