Lots of Pun

  • Engineers have made a car that can run on mint. Hopefully, they can make buses and trains run on thyme. 

  • It’s called gross pay because it’s disgusting to see how much money you would have made before taxes.

  • Plagiarism: Getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.

  • I was going to tell a carpentry joke, but I couldn’t find any that woodwork.

  • Velcro is a complete ripoff.

The fact that Head & Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called  ‘Knees & Toes’ disappoints me.

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I was walking past a farm and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.

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I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.

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Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office.
I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.

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The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden.
He’s currently assembling his cabinet.

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An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol place, drinking spot, place for beer, beer now.

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This morning I saw a person dragging a clam on a leash behind him.
It must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel.

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Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word.

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Cartoons: Bruce Springsteen