Dad’s Words of Wisdom

For all the fathers out there, how many of these have you said…

Don’t ask me, ask your mother.

Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.

You didn’t beat me. I let you win.

Don’t worry. It’s only blood.

Don’t you know any normal boys?

Coffee will stunt your growth.

A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off..

Always say “please” and “thank you”. That way, you get more. If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world. You call that a haircut?

“Hey” is for horses.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?

You call that noise “music”?

We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.

No, we’re not there yet.

Shake it off. It’s only pain.

When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.

As long as you live under my roof, you’ ll live by my rules.

I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

So, you think you’re smart,  do you?