DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handy: Fly Swatters

• Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

• I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

• I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.

• Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words “mank” and “ind.” What do these words mean? It’s a mystery and that’s why so is mankind.

• If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.