Engineering a Cow

Back in the day, on a beautiful spring day, a farmer had led his cow to a small stream next to a green, lush meadow. The animal happily guzzles some water, while the farmer milks her. Two engineers come hiking down the path that follows the stream.

“Excuse me, sir”, says one, “what are you doing there?”

“Well, I’m milking the cow, of course”, answers the farmer. Considering the question, and their looks, he adds: “You must be from the city?”

“That’s right”, the man responds. “You see, I’ve heard of milking a cow, but I’ve never witnessed the process myself. And to tell the truth, I’m quite intrigued to see how it works!”

“Then wait until you’ve tasted the fresh, still warm milk!” exclaims the enterprising farmer, producing two tin mugs. “5 ct each.”

Without a second thought, the engineers agree and are in bliss. They feel like they’ve never tasted milk before in all their life.

“You see”, continues the talkative one, “we are engineers. I’d like to get a more thorough understanding of how this works. What I have already perceived is that the water goes in at the front, and the milk comes out at the bottom shortly after. That’s obvious. But what happens in between?!”

The farmer shoots him a doubtful glance. But ever eager to do business, he replies: “Look here, gentlemen, I am but a simple man and don’t understand any of this. But tell you what: For $200, I’ll sell you the beast, and you can research her aaalll you want.”

The engineers do have the money between them. And after some discussion, with some encouragement from the farmer’s side (beautiful specimen, never find the same at such a price), they agree and purchase the cow. The farmer hands them a piece of rope to lead the animal away, and off they go.

Two hours later, the sun being quite warm that day, they stop again. And decide to still their thirst with some more of that delicious milk. One leads the cow to the stream, who starts drinking at once. The other one is at the back, cluelessly pulling the udder.

As he has not the slightest idea of what he’s doing, and the cow having been milked just two hours previously, the result is: none at all.

“Hey”, he prompts the guy at the front, “I believe the water intake is not sufficient. Try and put the nozzle a bit deeper into the water!”

The other guy, not a man for half-hearted action, pushes the cow’s head down into the water. Mouth, nose and all. The poor beast starts to panic - and to wildly diarrhea.

“Not THAT deep!”, the engineer shouts. “She’s already drawing up the mud…!”