Funny Grad Stories
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store.
He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp.
The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom.
"First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is."
"Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate."
"Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
My wife saw her ex high school boyfriend, drunk in the street. She said he started drinking when she broke up with him after graduation decades ago. I said....
....Impressive. .. I've never seen anyone celebrate that long before.
How do they determine the homecoming queen and valedictorian in Alabama high schools?
The homecoming queen is the girl with the most teeth, and the valedictorian is the person who could count them all.
"Boy, when I was your age I used to walk fifteen miles to school."
"Oh, is that why you didn't graduate"
Degrees
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
Always Be A Student
By Joanna Fuchs
Keep on learning,
Though your graduation's done;
Your whole life's an education
That has only just begun.
Your diploma is the first big step,
For knowledge is the special key
To winning what you want in life
And being who you want to be.
If you'll always be a student,
You'll find the secrets to success
And travel on the golden road
To peace and happiness.
Very Punny
Why do most M&Ms want to go to college? They want to turn into Smarties.
Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground? They wanted to get high grades in their final exam.