Funny Stories: A bear walks into a bar
A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles.”
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A bear walks into a bar... The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear.
The bear immediately tells him, “You look exhausted.”
“Yeah, it’s been a rough day,” says the bartender, “What are you drinking?”
“I’ll have a glass of...”, says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before finishing, “...scotch.”
“Why the long face?”, asks the bartender.
“Don’t you mean big pause?”, asks the bear.
“Yeah, sorry. Like I said, it’s been a rough day.”
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A Horse Walks into a Bar... He approaches the bartender and says, “If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?”
The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, “Y, the long face.”
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Once during an adventure, a farmer named Bryan Clay stumbled into a cave and found a magic lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. The farmer told him that he wished he were very rich. The Genie said okay and asked him, “Alright Mr. Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish?”
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A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.
The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.”
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An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, “The soup is cold.”
His astonished mother exclaimed, “Son, I’ve waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven’t you spoken before?”
The boy looked at her and replied, “Up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”