Funny Stories: For the sick
Grandma Sally’s first great-grandchild was born and after a few weeks, when the parents need a break, she was given the job of watching her.
“Let me see the little cutie,” begs her friend Gerty.
“Not yet”, Sally responds.
When she again refuses five minutes later Gerty has had enough “what are you waiting for?” she fumed.
“I’m waiting for her to cry.”
“Why is that?” questioned Gerty.
“Well, because I forgot where I put her!”
A lady noticed an old happy man sitting on his porch.
“Excuse me” she said “I just couldn’t help noticing how happy you look. Tell me, what is the secret to your long happy life.”
“Well, the man responded, “I eat fatty foods, never exercise. I also smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, and drink about a case of whiskey a week”
“Wow” the women said “and how old are you?”
“Twenty eight!” he said.
Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to throw up.
“No problem dear,” whispered his Mom in his ear, “just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.”
Thirty seconds later Bob came back. “Did you go to the bathroom?” question his Mom.
“No need” responded Bob. “Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there!”
Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
“By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”
Sam replied, “The electric company, water company, and phone company.”