Getting Old Can Be Funny

“I’m 59 and people call me middle aged.

How many 118 year olds do you know?”

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Seventy year old Myrtle wakes up one morning and says to her husband: “Joe I Think I’m dead.”

Joe replies,” No you’re not Myrtle You’re lying here talking to me.”

“No” says Myrtle. “I’m Dead”

“Why do you think you’re dead?” asks Joe

Myrtle looks around still dazed and confused and says,

“Because nothing hurts.”

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Hanging up with my 90-year-old mother, I sighed, then said to my

96-year-old uncle, “She’s so  stubborn.”

He shook his head sympathetically and warned,

“You’re going to have trouble with her when she gets old.”

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A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “How long have I got?” “Ten,” the doctor says sadly. “Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!” “Nine...”