Golf Humor: My wife is watching

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, and measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.

He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!”  The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Forget it, man,” said his partner, “there’s no chance you’ll hit her from here!”

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A golfer was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him; “Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat”. The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday at his favorite golf course.