Help Wanted: Santa needs new reindeer.

There is just one tricky part: You must know how to fly

The first bunch has grown old.
Dasher has arthritis; Comet hates the cold.
Prancer’s sick of staring at Dancer’s big behind.
Cupid married Blitzen and Donder lost his mind.
Dancer’s mad at Vixen for stepping on his toes.
Vixen’s being thrown out
— she laughed at Rudolph’s nose.
If you are a reindeer we hope you will apply.
There is just one tricky part:
You must know how to fly.

— Timothy Tocher