Laugh: A Rude Parrot and A Little Horse

Rude Parrot

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him.

After a few hours of this, the man finally gets fed up and throws the parrot into the freezer to teach it a lesson. He hears the parrot squawking and kicking for a few minutes, but then all goes quiet. The man opens the freezer up, the parrot calmly steps out onto the man’s outstretched arm and says, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor to correct my behavior.”

The man is astounded. As he’s about to ask the parrot what’s caused this sudden change in attitude, the parrot continues, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Eating Dirt

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bully his way into a woman’s home in a rural area. “This machine is the best ever, I assure you ma’am,” he says. “It can clean anything. In fact, I’ll give you a demonstration. If this machine doesn’t remove all the dirt from your carpets and completely clean them, I’ll eat whatever it leaves!”

The woman smiles and asks, “Would you like ketchup or mayonnaise on your dirt? We don’t have electricity here.”

No Worms

A man was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

“All right, son,” asked the father, “what does that show you?”

“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.”

A Little Horse

Took my son to a ranch for the first time, he never heard a foal neigh before and thought it was sick.

I told him it was just a little horse.