Marriage and Love Humor

After 65 years of marriage, my grandpa still calls grandma “honey”, “sweetie”, “baby”, and “sugar”.
I asked him for the secret to keep love alive so long.
He said “i forgot her name 10 years ago, and I’m afraid to ask.”

An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...
Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?
“That’s easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions.”
Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what’s a big decision, and what’s a little decision?
“Oh, there hasn’t been any big decisions yet.”

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.
The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease.
When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, “Put down ‘Yes.’”  

My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.

I can remember when I got married and I can remember where I got married.
For the life of me, I can’t remember why I got married.

My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing.
I told them I wasn’t yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.

What’s the difference between a relationship and a video game?
They both start off fun and easy, then get a litter harder. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.

“I love you,” she said.
“Is that you talking,” I asked, “Or the wine?”
“It’s me talking to the wine.”

Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands?
Because they always have to repeat themselves.

If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single.
Once you’re married, you can’t even change the television channel.