New Jokes for a New Year!

Where can you find the comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punchline.

Not to brag, but I already have a date for the New Year’s Eve party. It’s December 31st.

What New Year's resolution should basketball players never make? To travel more.

What's something people should never eat on New Year's Eve? Fire crackers.

What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year's? Well, they got 12 months.

What's a New Year's resolution? It's something that goes in one year and out the other.

What do you say to a cow on January 1? Happy Moo Year!

Why should you have your left foot in the air on New Year's Eve? To make sure you start 2024 on the right one!

Where do herbs celebrate New Year's? At Thyme's Square.

What did Adam say to Eve on December 31? It's New Year's, Eve!

Why do you need a jeweler on December 31? To ring in the New Year.

Why should you never make fireworks angry on New Year's Eve? You might just set them off!

What's the one type of pain that you'll enjoy on New Year's? Cham-pain!

What does the little champagne bottle call the big champagne bottle? Pop!

Why should you always pace yourself on New Year's? So you don't make any pour decisions!

Celebrating New Year's has many pros, but what's the biggest con? The con-fetti!

What should you say to a New Year's performer? Don't drop the ball!

My New Year's Day resolution is to have my cup half full... of coffee.

This New Year's, try not to make any pour decisions.

Why do you need a jeweler on December 31? To ring in the New Year.

What does the little Champagne bottle call his father? Pop!