Some great dad jokes before summer ends!
A guy was admitted to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is stable.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’ve never met herbivore.
Today I lost my mood ring, and I still don’t know how I feel about it.
I may drink brake fluid, but I can stop at any time.
My girlfriend thought I’d never be able to make a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning.
I just found out that I’m colorblind. The news came completely out of the green.
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster, but it just made it more sluggish.
Somebody stole all my lamps, and I couldn’t be more de-lighted.
A researcher’s obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.
Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.
Television is a medium, because anything well done is rare.
People who don’t answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.
His words were heavy, but his friends didn’t get the gravity of the situation.
Somehow people really don’t like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up. Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip, or soap for cleaning up their act.
When you’re on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.
There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company. Reporters say the story is still developing.