Stories For Your Funny Bone
A Calgarian rolled up the rim on his Tim Hortons coffee. He stared in disbelief for a moment, then started yelling, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motor home!”
A woman working at the counter said, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is a car.”
“No, it says right here,” he said, handing the cup to the employee:
“W I N A B A G E L.”
A Saskatchewan farmer decides to retire and move to the Rocky Mountains after living his whole life on the prairies. A few months later, a friend comes to visit.
“What do you think of the mountains?” his friend asks.
“They’re okay,” the farmer says. “But they sure obscure the view.”
The Pope is visiting Canada.
After completing his visit, the Canadian government gives him a chauffeur-driven car to see the natural beauty of Canada. After 20 kilometers through Canada, he says to the driver:
“Oh, let me get behind the wheel. I’m from the narrow Papal States, and I always have to sit in the back of the Popemobile. even though I am such a passionate driver!” So the chauffeur swaps seats with the Pope.
After a few kilometers, the Pope is stopped by a police officer. The Pope winds the window down and the policeman immediately runs back to his car. From there he calls his superior:
“Lieutenant , I have a problem. I have a speeder here.”
“What is the problem? Just fine him!”
“I think he is a big shot though.”
“Is he higher ranked than me?”
“Lieutenant, I believe that is the case.”
“Is he higher ranked than the Prime Minister?”
“Lieutenant, I am afraid that is the case.”
“Who is he then?”
“I don’t know, but the Pope is his chauffeur.”
God was creating all the countries and it was Canada’s turn.
He turned to his angels and said “This country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world”
The angels ask God, “Aren’t you blessing this country a little TOO much?”
God replies, “Wait till you see who their neighbour is.”
Legend has it the Macarena originated in Newfoundland when a fisherman got up out of his chair and started anxiously searching his shirt and pants pockets for a pack of smokes.