Garden and Plant Humor
Sad but true…
Hard work doesn’t harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances.
The only way to ensure rain is to give the garden a good soaking.
Weeds grow at precisely the rate you pull them out.
Nothing ever looks like it does on the seed packet.
Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought follows planting.
However bare the lawn, grass will appear in the cracks between the patio paving stones.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Garden Humor Terminology
“A favorite of birds” means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines.
“Grows more beautiful each year” means • “Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.”
“Zone 5 with protection” is a variation on the phrase “Russian roulette.”
“May require support” means your daughter’s engineering degree will finally pay off. “Moisture-loving” plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
“Carefree” refers more to the plant’s attitude than to your workload.
“Vigorous” is code for “has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.”
Knee: a device for finding rocks in your garden.
“Annuals” mean disappointment once a year.
Hardy plant: really means “hearty” to wildlife and a wholesome meal.
Plant Puns That Will Knock Your Stalks Off
1. What did the sunflower say to her BFF when she reached 5 feet tall?
“You grow, girl!”
2. What did the rose text her best bud?
“I’m all dressed up and have nowhere to grow!”
3. What’s the fiercest type of flower?
A dandelion!
4. You can poppy-n anytime!
5. What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
“Oopsie daisy!”
6. It’s just one of rose things….
7. What in carnation?
8. How do roses kiss?
They plant one on the other’s cheek.
9. Mum’s the word!
10. He’s just a one-trick peony.
Plant Puns That Start With a Question
What do you call an everyday potato?
A commen-tater.
How much room should you give fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste.
What did the grape say when it was crushed?
Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.
Why did the lettuce close its eyes?
Because it saw the salad dressing.