What’s On EBay?

Item: My Toenail Clippings – 31 inches long

Description: These clipping were done by my teeth about an hour ago, off every single toe on both my feet. You can use them for absolutely nothing so buy them now.

Opening Bid: $50.00

Item: Grandma – MUST SEE!!

Description: We are so sure you will be happy with grandma that we will throw in an extra pain of dentures. THAT’S NO TYPO!!

Warning: Grandma is known to spout profanity at times, and does get cranky if not given her medicine. (Medicine not included)

Opening Bid: $10.00

Item: The Meaning Of Life

Description: I have discovered the reason for our existence and will be happy to share this information with the highest bidder.

(Ebay note: Contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding)

Opening Bid: $0.01

Item: One jar of air from Woodstock (the 1999 concert, not 1969)

Description: I caught the air in the jar myself, it is real Woodstock air.  So many came but how many thought to take some air with them?

Get yours now.

Opening Bid: $9.99