When I come to one of the forks in the road of life, I don’t waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon.

If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.

Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager managing an imaginary menagerie.

When he came out from under the anesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously. “Son,” he said, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

Though it’s springtime, the temp’rature’s low. It’s damp,and the wind’s all a-blow. And I swear that I heard These words chirped by a bird: “For THIS I flew north? I hate snow!”

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

The grass is always greener.........When you leave the sprinkler on.

Women always complain that men are difficult to understand. Here are some funny explanations of typical guy phrases.

A fellow comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn’t include Tom O’Brien in the games anymore.

Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.

Two long time friends were standing on the tee overlooking a river getting ready to hit their shots….