Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money.

Lawyers should never ask a Grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter.

You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around.

My daughter want’s the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules.

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can’t Fool Mom.

A head teacher is making his rounds of the school when he hears a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms.

My doctor told me I had Attention Deficit Disorder. He said ‘A.D.D. is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah…

Item: My Toenail Clippings – 31 inches long. Description: These clipping were done by my teeth about an hour ago…